


All is Bright

by Fericita



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, F/M, L.M. Montgomery, frozen, lucy maud montgomery - Freeform, the blue castle - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 13:13:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16893267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fericita/pseuds/Fericita
Summary: An AU of Anna/Kristoff with Anna as Valancy and Kristoff as Barney.





	All is Bright

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Karis_Artemisia_Judith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karis_Artemisia_Judith/gifts).



Christmas Before

“For behold I bring you good news of great joy,“ intoned Rev Dr. Stalling, sounding anything but joyful. “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” Anna bounced on her toes and discretely scratched where her woolen stockings were making her itchy. Beside her, Elsa was perfectly still except for her head, which she was slowly nodding in somber appreciation of this dreary reading of the Christmas story. Anna always thought it should be read with the excitement she felt when she was reading it. But of course she was wrong. As Elsa often told her, it wasn’t ladylike to have feelings. Her sister spoke as if feelings were as insignificant and frivolous as a pair of patent-leather shoes with slender heels. Something some people had, but certainly not well-brought-up people. 

“Joy to the world!” the congregation sang. Anna held the hymnal but couldn’t bring herself to sing or even look at the tiny script on the page. She felt her heart sinking into despair. At Christmas her dreams of her own Blue Castle hurt in their intensity. A tall tree with candles and silver stars, a piano playing carols merrily, a cat curled against her side, a chubby, happy baby chewing on her finger and nestling in her lap…she could see it all so clearly. What she wanted and what she would never have. Instead of a bright home of her own, she had to endure the crushing loneliness of life with a sister who tolerated her but didn’t like her, in a house that was shelter but not a home. Usually her daydream about what life could be – her Blue Castle – was a fun game she played to fill her empty days. Today it felt like a taunt. It was suffocating in its realness. 

The fight they had when they returned home to Elm Street was surprising only because it meant a deviation from the normal routine. Elsa never deviated from routine. Anna wanted to light candles in the window to welcome Carolers who might be out, and Elsa refused. 

“No one should be out on Christmas Eve, they should be at home reflecting on the birth of their Lord and Savior. And we certainly will not offer hot chocolate and cookies to complete strangers in return for singing songs we don’t want to hear.”

Anna wasn’t ready to give up. She always did. But something about losing her Blue Castle as a refuge made her unable to retreat. “Christmas is supposed to be joyful! We should sing! Have a party! Eat chocolate! Not just take a dose of Redfern’s tonic and go to bed!” Anna felt her heart seize up. Her feelings, which she had never been allowed to give words to, were now evading words when given the chance. 

“Anna, you are obviously overly-emotional tonight. Dr. Stallings’ reading was too impassioned, I know. You are hardly to be blamed. Calm yourself, conceal those base desires, and go to bed as you ought.”

But there was the problem, Anna thought. She always had too many feelings. And nowhere to put them.

“Conceal, conceal…we are never allowed to FEEL! And I want to! I want to feel! And if I can’t do that here, I will find a place where I can!”

..........................  
Christmas During

Anna looked out the picture window, Kristoff standing beside her. Christmas on their island was in the wee hours yet, and she was eagerly hoping for snow.

“Why?” asked Kristoff. “Haven’t you had enough snow already this year? There’s already a snow pack on the ground. The lake is frozen! Just going outside coats your eyelashes in frost. What do you need with more snow?” His questions were playful and said with a smile. He loved the way she had particular hopes about the way things should be, and the childish delight she took in seeing them come about. She knew what she wanted and she asked for it. People were rarely so straightforward and honest. That’s why he generally preferred the woods and the wilds of Mistawis. The woods were better than people.

“It should snow on Christmas! It makes it extra Christmas-y. I don’t want to go out in it and get cold, I want to stay in under warm blankets and look outside and be glad that I am in. I want to be glad here in my Blue Castle.”

“We can do that now. Get under a warm blanket and be glad we are in.”

He pulled her back towards the bed, but stopped as she said “The snow reminds me of Elsa.”

“Huh. Cold and unforgiving?” He put his arm around her. Anna always seemed to feel a phantom chill when she mentioned her sister. And he quite liked the excuse to pull her close.

“No. We used to play in it. Back when she would play. It’s a good memory.”

“Maybe one day you will make more good memories with her. But just now, let’s go make our own.”

Anna smiled at him, enjoying the feeling of her heart speeding up as he looked back at her. He bent his head to kiss her collarbone, and she knew that Elsa would describe the feelings she was having as very unladylike indeed. Her smiled widened even more and she followed him to the bed.

“Peace, perfect peace, with loved ones far away,” quoted Kristoff shamelessly, not for the first time.

..........................  
Christmas After

The church in Montreal was grand and decorated with every green thing that could be found in Canada in December.

“I think they killed a forest to get the church to look festive.” Kristoff whispered in her ear.

“Humbug! It looks splendid. Though I do prefer our Blue Castle. Will you please hold him? He’s getting squirmy.” Anna passed Tom over to Kristoff, and settled Cecily more comfortably on her hip. Cecily grabbed her pearls and tried to put them around her own neck, giggling as Anna pretended to be surprised. Anna loved the way their daughter reached for things fully, with her whole body, nothing held back. 

“Just don’t cut down any trees to celebrate my birthday,” Kristoff said as he lifted Tom to stand on the pew beside them. He handed Tom a candle, showing him how to hold it so the flame would be well away from his face.

The reverend finished the reading with Anna’s favorite part of the Christmas story. “But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.”

Anna looked at Kristoff, at Tom and Cecily, and felt that after a lifetime of wondering what Mary felt as she treasured and pondered, she knew. At least in part. How she had longed to know, and now she did. The joy she shared with Kristoff as they watched these tiny people explore their world, make discoveries and mistakes, feel all of their feelings and put new words together to tell their parents about it. The wonder of watching them become people with preferences and ideas all their own, to see a future full of hope and excitement as she wondered what was next.

As they sang “Silent Night,” Anna looked at her family and felt a rush of joy at “All is bright.” It was. Her Blue Castle was filled and her heart was filled. All was bright.

**Author's Note:**

> Phrases/quotations taken directly from elsewhere:
> 
> Cousin Stickles says “It’s not ladylike to have feelings.” On page 39 of The Blue Castle by LM Montgomery (It’s such a great line. I love this book. It has so many gems like this.)
> 
> Barney quotes “Peace, perfect peace, with loved ones far away.” in The Blue Castle; it is from a hymn called “Peace, Perfect Peace,” by Edward H. Bickersteth, Jr. (Barney intentionally misuses the phrase, the stanza is about being assured that your loved ones are being taken care of by God, and Barney is just glad they are far away. See? A gem. Such a good book. It’s really great.)
> 
> Rev Dr. Stallings reads from the Bible, Luke 2:10-11
> 
> The Montreal pastor reads from the Bible, Luke 2:19
> 
> The title “All Is Bright” is a line from the hymn “Silent Night” written by Joseph Mohr.


End file.
